I’m no doctor, but have you had your hormones checked?

May be low if you have no libido….and of course your anti-depressants kill hardons…

But to get your question…..I am still physical with my wife…I eat a lot of pussy, and she sucks a lot of limp cock…and if we have the time for a Viagra, I take one and if it works, we have intercourse, and if not I am red and we still do lots or oral…

Is it what I want? No. Is it what she wants? No. But it is what we have….her body goes through changes as she gets older, they call it menopause and carry on about it, but no one doubts her sexualty because she stops having periods. Our body goes through changes and we don’t get hard as often or if at all, and everyone starts to think we are loosers. We ARE NOT. We are the same men, but are bodies just don’t function as well–we need glasses, hearing aids, pumps, shots and pills to have sex….

My point is, I have sex with my wife, intercourse sometimes (twice since Christmas) and usually just oral sex, it is still exciting to get her off, still hot when she gets me off….just relax, try to have a good time, and reach out to the world with your heart and your mind…not your dick…your dick is not who you are and does not define you….and when you are in a relationship, it wont matter if you are hard, or use a dildo on her, it will matter that you love each other and are intimate with out without intercourse….

Hope, I wish I had it, it left me about 6 months ago

Hope was what kept me going fo many years. Antidreppressiv pills work fairly well but it can´t keep away all pain. No I can´t say I´m completey devoid of hope, there is always a little thougt way down in my soul that one day something is going to happen. One has to have hope to survive but sometimes I see my impotens as being as irreversable as becoming paralysed after an severe accident. I guess the good thing with hope is that its not rational. Whats yor life like?

Thank you so much for your reply

Its great to be able to ventilate this subject with someone. I´m 52 and my troubles started when I became 40. My erektions became weeker and weeker as the years went by. Even if I could get it upp to 70% with some help, I ejakulated almost emediatly. For me this seems to hang together, that is bad erektion = premature ejakulation. I long thougt my problems were psykological, I went to shrinks and I ransaked my whole mind for many years looking into every nook and cranny. I wasn´t nervous or had a pressure on me, my wife was to a certain extent quiet understanding.
For her it wasn´t a big issue. But ejakulating so fast was for me pretty disheartening. I really enjoy looking at women but nothing arouses me fysicaly. This became a problem in my marriage, I wanted to make love but the feeling or the nerv wasn´t there. And in presence of my wifes strong desire and lust mine diminished even more. I coundn´t meet hers. I divorced her about 3 years ago. The main reason was not my impotens even if it had a large part in it.
Sex is a lubricant in a relationship. This kept us together in the begining. But with that gone there wasn´t much left. I´ve been singel now for three years. I tried with a woman about two years ago.
Allready att an early stage I told her about my problems and it didn´t bother her. We had sex but without me penetrating. It was nice to feel the warmth, smell and embraces of a female again. But after a few months without getting an erektion and spending most of the time satisfying her I left her. This was probably stupid but I was so discouraged with my self. I wanted to be alone and lick my wounds. I was angry and frustrated. I´ve seeked expert medical advice. Done hormone tests, tried Viagra and cialis with little effect. By mere chance a doktor discovered something was wrong with my blood. I suffered from b12 vitamin deficiancy and he said that i some cases this can cause impotens. B 12 apperently vital for the nervus system.
Along with that he gave me the option to take caverjet which I geuss you are familiar with, an injektion in the penis. I know that is a good option. For someone allready in a relationship. But I have troubles seeing myself meeting a new woman, and in the middle of embracing saying “excuse me I have to go to the bathroom”. You see for me and I guess most of us desire and lust is not just about fysical sex its part of ones whole will to live, to create to meet people. As a male its part of the meaning of life. What I think Freud means by Libido.
I´ll probably not take my life but some days its so dark and hopeless. Appart from feeding my children I sometimes see little reason for getting out of my couch. Its good to know that you are out there.

I keep hoping with all my mite

that there will be a new break through in methods to overcome this. I understand how you feel but we have to keep “hope” up, fight within ourselves with everything we have. There WILL be a better day.

I’m very touched by your letter, you openly share the pain

that many of us have or have had. Erections are very important to us as men. Our identity, our self esteem, are both very much impacted by this function, and although I suspect it varies how important from man to man, it is nonetheless, an issue for all. I too have struggled with depression and self esteem issues. All the times someone makes a joke or comment relating in some way to sex, and the ability to perform, a joke that implies an erection is a given. If only they knew how often they stick the knife in deep. I suffer in silence often, but it is getting better.
I don’t know what is the source of your impotents, but if this is new to you, and you’re new here, you’ll learn that there are options out there, and although they may not be as spontaneous and natural as we’d like, you’ll learn that your sex life is not over, you can still exercise options to be sure you are able to perform and please a woman, and enjoy her sexually.
I am 62, had a prostatectomy almost 2 years ago, and still not much happening. Orgasms have improved, but getting hard requires either the use of finasteride 5mg tablets, a vacuum device w/ cock rings, or injections of Trimix.
Sometimes I find with a cock ring on, lots of lube, and lots of visual input I get enough filling to masturbate, and might have enough for penetration, not sure, I”m too afraid to try with my wife, feel it will fail, and I guess I don’t wanna face that. With her, I just inject and use a ring, to be sure I am hard enough to fuck.
I have been researching penile implants, and follow the support group on here for that, that will be in my future perhaps. Many men, most, ho have one talk about the greatly improved sex life, and the improved self esteem, knowing they can perform again.  I’m not sure what else to tell you, I feel badly for u, I know how it feels. Suicide is a poor option, Nolan, that is not fair to your family, your kids, your future grandkids, they all need and want you. And you will get sex function back, there are great options available to you and I, that weren’t available to our fathers and grandfathers.

How do you survive?

How do you guys cope with your impotens? I find it very dificult to live with. I use antidepresivs but the pain of never having a woman again often breaks throu. I manage life at work I´m even qiute happy there, but as soon as I leave my jobb life is empty. I avoid meeting people in private, my only consolation is to sleep. Being impotent is for me not really being a part of life or of nature. I feel as though I´m just a spektator. Lacking lust and libido is lacking one of the main forces of nature. I am a human but I´m no longer a man. This ofcourse gives me low self esteem which is the main reason I shun people. Most fysical deficiancies can be discussed, impotens is shamefull. I cant help it but I feel like a lesser human. This deficiancy affects my whole life and with some exeptions is constantly on my mind. The only thing that really keeps me going is that I have three children but in five years they will all have left home. Then there is not much left. For me the mening of life is to have a woman, to have a relationship, to have someone to share life with. This is no longer an option. Yes I have suicidal thoughts. I feel imprisoned, constantly aware of my predicament. There is no door, there is no escape. I can´t accept it, I can`t abide this reality. It´s impossible to come to terms with. How do you cope with it?

I used the injections for a short period of time

and had begun to see scar damage forming. Those dark lines along the side of the penis are the signs of scarring.

100mgpillsIts wonderful that the injections make you hard for two hours or so, but whats really happening is that you aren’t getting any blood flowing to keep the cells and muscles inside the penis healthy. That being said, like the sildenafil citrate pills commercials tell you to worry if an erection lasts more than 4 hours, well.. with older men its even less time.

My advice to you is to masturbate everyday prior to your surgery. Even if you don’t ejaculate, just force the blood into the penis. The blood will clear some of the scar tissue and the bodies natural ability to repair, will help some to rebuild what the injections have destroyed.

Best of luck with the implant. I had mine done Feb. 4th, so i’m still in the healing phase. Feel free to write me with any questions.


Previous posting a joke?

There is NO “total masturbation life” of a penis…. all the three top urologists i’ve been to in NYC said that erections are good for the penis, no matter how you attain them…either self stimulation or with a partner. All this bullsh*t about hurting the kidneys, etc. is just that, bullsh*t.

The healthy penis has about 2-3 hours worth of nocturnal erections every night (unless you have E.D.)…..these are necessary to maintain the health of the smooth muscles in the penis….the smooth muscles in the penis need oxygen rich blood to get to the penis…. that’s why day time erections are good…

Any talk about masterbation physically hurting the penis or the body is wrong. I know there are young guys who write into this yahoo website thinking they are breaking their penis b/c of masterbation too much… they should be assured that it’s okay to masterbate, it won’t physically harm them. Anyone else posting a comment on this blog saying something to the contrary is doing them a disservice.

ok, that’s my two cents.

I’m not a doctor, a urologist, etc

But someone who started masturbating when I couldn’t even shoot a load, but the wonderful feeling still occurred. I remember the first time I was given a blow job and I still wasn’t even shooting a load I thought that something was going to come out but nothing did! Of course the guy who was blowing me knew full well what he was doing–pedophile that he was. I continue to jack off since a kid my age in the fifties knew nothing about sex except that it felt good. I continued to jack off for years even though I was also having sex quite regularly.

To my knowledge there is no such thing as “masturbation life”. As long as you have some libido, perhaps use some assistance such as porn videos and are able to used some imagination in the way you pleasure yourself there is no reason you can’t continue “wanking” away for years.

You don’t relate whether you are gay or straight or whether you have a sexual partner. But as you are in your early 20′s you shouldn’t be experiencing impotence. You shouldn’t be reluctant to see a doctor, hopefully one that doesn’t come off as judgemental, e.g., the “old family physician” type who might look with disapproval at anything related to sex outside of marriage. There is help out there but you have to seek it.

Hi Jack, Thank you

My response initially is, that if Dr. C is experienced, and you trust him, he already knows part of what you presented first time, so goes in with sort of advance info. Only you can decide how you feel about him.
I’ll certainly be posting here in a couple weeks after mine is done, so be glad to let you know how I feel about my doc.

Long story will try to keep it breef

About 5 years ago the Uro that I was going to for low testerstrone and ED showed me and the wife a video on imlplants. He had started me on Viagara when it came out in 98 and all the ones that came our after.
After the video my wife and I talked. At the time I was still able to get an erection good enough for sex (just barley), so we agreed to wait.
Erections keept getting weaker and weaker and Dr. did a color doppler and said I had Venous Leakage. He sold me tri-mix out of the office by the shot at $40-$60 per shot CASH ONLY. Even though I had know this doctor from my sunday school days the thought of having to pay for meds with CASH out of the office did not set well with me.
Went to Dr.C whom is my Uro now. After an exam I asked for a prescription for trimix which he wrote and gave me the name of the only licensed compounding pharmacy in town. Little to no effect. I went back to Dr.C and he called the pharmacy and ordered the strongest thing they mixed. I was told I could use up to a full 100 unit syringe. I did. Little to no effect. We talked and sechduled an implant for 10/06. 10/06 just b/4 implant surgery I had chest pains and had to have stents put in my heart. Heart Dr. said wait a year b/4 implant.
Went back to Dr. C and asked what could I do for the next year. He gave me a prescription for a VED and had the rep come in and fit it for me. I used it some but hurt myself by using too much pressure and had to lay off a couple of months. After that I only used it sparingly.
10/07 Implant surgery scheduled. Went to the hospital and when I woke up I felt like someone had shoved a tree trunk with the bark still on it up my penis. I instantly knew something was wrong. My wife came in and then the Dr. and said that they had penetrated the Ureatha and had to stop because of the possibility of infection.
During my follow up with Dr. C. I decided to get a second opinion. I went to the Head of the Urology Department of the University of Tennessee Memphis. Dr. W is a young doctor and for some reason we did not hit it off. He wanted me to wait until after my back surgery and come back with my wife in 7/08.
I went back to Dr. C and talked to him. He said that the next time he has a special instrument that he can use and not have the problem again. BUT I have to wait 6 months after my back surgery.
Eight weeks ago today I had my back surgery. Nuerosurgeon is thrilled with the results and so am I. No more pain in my legs and lower back.
The other benefit from the back surgery is that now from time to time I have an spontanious erection. (Not good enough for sex.) I asked my back doctor and he said that the pressure on the nerves may have been part of my problem. Will take 6 months to know for sure. His opinion is that I will still need the implant.
Now! The cause of the failed surgery was from fibrosis in the copora’s from Peronies and injection therapy. Dr. said mostly injection thearpy, even though I only tried it for a short while. I found a VED routine for the fibrosis and use it almost every day. It has helped and I have even gained back some lost length from Peronies.
Quandry? Do I let Dr. C retry the implant of try to find someone else. Will have to make up my mind in the next couple of months. May even see another doctor.
There are a couple of good groups for help. yahoo implant group and Bob Bacon has a Blog. All with very good informtion.
If you want full details on how to use the VED for fibrosis sent me a