Maybe another urologist

My husband’s urologist wanted it to be at least 700. It was under 100 when he began. I don’t think soy is your problem. check with another urologist.

Urologist or Endrocrinologist for low Testosterone?

Hi, I’m 41 years old and my total testosterone is only 440 ng/dl. When I visited a urologist. He didn’t even consider it not normal. When I visited an Endrocrinologist. He said people don’t usually have testosterone measured so he is not even familiar what is the normal value by age. What is the right doctor to look for testosterone concern?
My LH is 4.34 mIU/ml. My FSH is 2.9 mIU/ml. Testosterone 440 ng/dl. What’s wrong with me? I drink soya milk every other day. Wonder if it can contribute to my low testosterone.


Low testosterone mimics mental depression and in fact when I went in to the doctors she told me that it was probably depression but just in case she was going to check my hormones. Thank God!

I was pretty overweight when I was in the middle of this and being fat converts testosterone into Estrogen. And the problem with that is that Estrogen dominates the receptors and makes men gain more weight which converts into more estrogen. And when a guy gets enough estrogen there are all kinds of problems with mood, sex drive, breast growth and lack of a stinky male smell ;-)

Its been a while since we talked about internet porn

but “some” of the guys who suddenly get into that are trying to see if some hyper stimulation will “cure” the ED. Whenever the topic comes up I think we end up talking about the morality of it “Is it cheating” or is this because the guy is only into fake super sex pots.

There are some couples that watch this together and get revved up on it and others that have one (or both) who think its just the worst most degrading crap ever.

Whatever you want to say about it I think it makes the problem more complicated when a guy is spending time (solo) watching it.

I don’t know what to say about the friends with benefits stuff. I’m still trying to understand the new “no dating” biz that people our kids age do. That and the friends with benefits seem pretty cold to me. There also seems to be a lot more complicated relationships then I remember. Not that things like 3somes or “poly” stuff wasn’t happening back then. It just didn’t so average.

Fascinating about the testosterone and oestrogen

I’m gonna do some research! He said the doctor told him at his recent well-man check that he could do with losing a bit of weight, he’s not obese but he does have a tummy. He’s managed to lose 7 lbs so far but still has maybe another 14 lbs to go. In a short man a little extra weight makes a lot of difference! The blood tests showed nothing out of the ordinary, but of course these are standard tests.

As I said there is a less than zero chance of him going back to try and delve deeper – he takes pride in being fit and healthy for his age – and also I now realise he just doesn’t think sex is that important. He’ll accept what he’s dealt! We’ve been together 2 years and for 18 months of that time it’s been a case of me wanted sex more often than he does – though he SAYS it’s all still the same in his head and SAYS he still wants it all the time, he can’t be bothered to make the effort and has ignored my feelings and needs.

This was the most confusing thing to me – I know by the amount of internet porn he looks at that he obviously IS still VERY interested, but I understand now that what he’s after is EASY ACTION – no effort – no getting sweaty with a real live woman, no getting out of breath etc (after all he’s had plenty of that and more all his life!)He wants a rest. He looks at all shapes, sizes end ages so I know looks aren’t the issue. Porn fits in with his ultra strict routine – it’s there when HE wants it – on demand. He’s entered a different stage of his life now and his wants are different, he often refers to himself as old.

I have no doubt that he still wants me around for what I give him in the way of Plan B as that requires no effort from him and he obviously gets a lot of pleasure from it. The sex we manage is limited to what he’s prepared to do on his back or side. I’ve suggested some variety but he says I have to realise he’s getting on now.

I understand now why he likes having me around…we’re both very cuddly and love snuggling up together….. For the company tho only as long as he wants it….. and to boost his (massive musician’s) ego – which I’ve always done. My problem has been that I didn’t understand that he won’t change anything in his life for me – nothing!

But since I found out he may have had (or attempted) sex with someone else even though it’s not definite, it’s as though blinkers have been taken from my eyes. I’m looking at him and our situation differently and can see ABSOLUTELY clearly what he’s offering….indeed always HAS been offering – Friends With Benefits! He even said to me once it’s better to just have friends who come and go and don’t let them get into your head….but I though ah, he’s so lovely to me he’s just protecting his own feelings….I made up my own truth!

And suddenly sex with him, such as it is, isn’t so appealing (quite apart from the health risk involved). Suddenly JUST cuddling in bed listening to the radio, JUST walking the dog, JUST going out for meals, JUST going shopping together, JUST popping round for coffee, JUST cuddling in front of the TV, JUST laughing over stupid things, JUST supporting him when he plays with his bands ALL MAKES SENSE. We’re mates, chums, friends – even though he CALLS me his partner to people and SAYS we’re in a relationship there’s no emotional intimacy or support from him – and he doesn’t want it from me. It’s JUST a friendship!

So while we’re away I’m gonna give it my best shot…..have the best time I can on the holiday he arranged in a place I’ve always wanted to visit…..keep up the physical affection etc……but hold back on the sexual side. I know I can do it now.

Thanks as ever for listening while I struggle through all this….

I think you have to have high Estrogen in addition to low testosterone

to change a persons “smell” I’m told this often happens if the guy is overweight. The Testosterone that he has converts to estrogen in the fat cells and when the body has a choice between using Testosterone versus Estrogen the Estrogen always dominates.

Another reason men get gynocomastia (Female Breast Growth) when they are overweight and have Testosterone problems.

A good reason to loose lots of weight btw. The estrogen reducing drugs are kind of “fringe” and at best are off label.

My husband always had his man smell

even when he was low, his testosterone, when first tested was under 100, that’s very low. But he doesn’t have the high estrogen issue either. that too was checked.
and btw, my husband’s mood is waaaay better now. I attribute that to having regular sex again but maybe the low T had something to do with it also.


Getting tested for low Testosterone (Or high estrogen) is pretty simple (Ask for the lab results btw) and if this helps please tell him for me that getting that problem fixed will make your life 1000x better. Its not just about sex. Its like a sanity restoration, energy booster, mood and anxiety fixer, sex drive combo (Also memory etc)

The lack of man smell? Wow… You hit one of the side effects of this problem that most men don’t notice until they get treated. I remember telling my Endo that after dealing with all this that “I stunk” and she said “yes, of course. Men do that. When you have too little Testosterone and too much Estrogen you won’t.” Weird but true.

His issue is with the cost

Sex is obviously not important enough to him to warrant getting more, as he goes deaf when I’ve offered to pay this time. It is pretty expensive, but I’d happily pay.
I’ve recently realised from looking back in my diary that he was obviously not getting as much out of sex with the viagra as I was – it’s taken me a long time to grasp this as it was honestly pretty mindblowing for me! Even me telling him that it was some of the best sex I’ve ever had didn’t make him want to buy more, so I’m coming to terms with the fact that he just wasn’t getting that much out of it :(

I’m so glad that your sex life is so good again

Just shows the difference between having a partner who is committed enough to you as a couple to be willing (eventually) to find a solution – This is the basic difference in our situations

I’m CONVINCED my partner has low testosterone – in fact I think it’s been low his whole life – despite his amazing sex life when he was younger which was in part I think to his delayed ejaculation which meant he was always horny as he was rarely satisfied (though he did get two ex’s pregnant – they both had abortions).
He took a long time to mature, his voice was slow to break and remained quite high until he took elocution lessons, he didn’t start shaving til he was 26 and still has a very sparse beard growth compared to most guys of 64 – he is hairier all over now but says that’s only come in later years.
He’s never had that ‘man’ smell – you know, that smell in a guy’s bedroom in the morning? He doesn’t sweat much, his skin is lovely and smooth, and his face sometimes looks almost feminine! In fact he has been mistaken for a woman occasionally when he had longer hair as he’s pretty short.
Good God – I should be with a woman with a dildo – I’d have the same sex life lol!!!!!!
Though he thinks he wants sex as much as ever I really can’t believe he would have been happy to settle for our sex life when he was 40! And he gets quite tired now, though he’s pretty busy for his age. And an inability to realise things are different seems a symptom of low levels from what James has said in the past.

I have suggested it might be this as a friend had it recently and is on pills I think, but he always says no he hasn’t got that, he’s just getting old. He’s resisted getting more viagra for so long I know the chances of getting this checked are less than nil.
And anyway… I feel the end is near I think it’s up to him, I’m not going to help him sort his ED out now for the benefit of the next woman in line…. I wonder how I’ve stuck this so long. For the 2 years we’ve been together I was really only sexually satisfied for the first few months when we had viagra – ludicrous!!!! How well he’s manipulated me!

Ironic that we’re going on holiday in 2 days. I feel that if we weren’t I’d be finishing with him right now. But let’s give it this last hurrah, make or break time I suspect

There is something to be said for relaxation!

The thing is, now that he has been taking testosterone injections once a wk plus daily cialis, his penis has been working very well, better than it has in years! He maintains erections as long as we need now and I’m quite satisfied. Not just sexually, but also in the knowledge that although it took years to get here, he finally did what he had to do to fix the problem.
It was very traumatic for him as you well know.
Now he gets spontaneous erections all the time at night, which is normal.
He still has a hard time with his own orgasm, but he always has had that issue and at this point, quite frankly, I don’t care. Sound selfish, well so be it. At least he fixed what he could, for now. And sex is good once again.
So, as long as you’re getting the meat and potatoes on a regular basis, rice pudding is good too!

Hi, I only posted a few times previously

but i have been reading many of the posts here. I just wanted to update you all on my situation. I’ve been married almost 12 yrs, I’m 40 and my husband is 44 yrs old. We hadn’t had sex in almost 2 yrs. My husband just could not keep an erection. He has type 2 diabetes and high blood pressure..both of which together we believe was the problem. Finally we had a real discussion about how the lack of sex was beginning to affect both of us. We went to our family doctor and my husband was given samles of Tadalafil online best price, both 10mg and 20mg samples. We tried the 10mg..worked perfectly! It’s good for 36 hours. Our insurance covers 6 pills a month…we are so thrilled! When he takes a pill, everything is working great for a few 6 pills a mth is fine. I couldn’t be happier. My husband is very relieved as well. He was so nervous to take that first pill and even try. He was scared that it wouldn’t work..but he was also scared that maybe his stress over it not working would make it not work. Thank goodness for insurance..and for Cialis. :)

That is exactly how I feel too

How would HE feel if he were stroking ME and I’M the one falling asleep???  He would be frustrated at the very least!!  You can bet if I’m stroking him, I’m wanting far more than to hear him snoring in my ear.

I absolutely think you’re a very intelligent lady

who’s feelings have gone far beyond what she expected in the beginning.  I also think maybe his feelings have too.  I don’t think the relationship is necessarily lost…or hopeless.  I’m most certain you will work it out in your mind and in your heart and in your time!

Ha ha exactly what he said to me once before – “ah that’s so relaxing”

What the….?

I don’t want to be RELAXING!!!!! I want to be sexy, irrestistable, ravishable (is there such a word lol – you get my drift!)

I want to be the mouthwatering fillet steak, the caviar…..NOT the simple mashed potato, the comforting rice pudding…..

I’m going over in my head what I actually said and his reply

as it didn’t hit me in the face as a lie at the time The text incident was an alarm bell which may or may not have meant anything but not what’s alerted me. I have to admit I was snooping though it was with an innocent motive – though snooping is probably always set off by a lack of trust, and I’ve always known this has happened with other women in his past, so I think an element of self preservation was at play. What I saw isn’t conclusive but my instinct tells me it happened

Our conversation was more of a “I find it difficult to know if you’re interested in sex when we don’t get much of a reaction and recently it’s been happening a bit more (I ignored the fact he’s been ill recently to make my point). I know your views on monogamy and that in the past you sometimes had 2 or 3 women on the go at once, so I’ve even wondered recently if you’ve had sex with someone else….”

His reply was “I couldn’t do that now, that was all in the past. There wouldn’t be much point in having 2 or 3 women hanging around now if I can’t do anything with any of them, it isn’t only with you”

Have to say I didn’t for one second expect him to say yes I slept with someone else and it’ll never happen again – my objective was to let him know I’m on to him and to not think he can take me for a fool. His ED started some time before I met him and his reassurance to me has always been “it was happening before I met you, it isn’t only with you”

Thanks for the feedback everyone – true this could be the straw that breaks the camel’s back! Please don’t imagine I’m a feeble-minded idiot in this – I really am only here as long as I want to be and for as long as the other stuff outweighs this problem

I’m no doctor, but have you had your hormones checked?

May be low if you have no libido….and of course your anti-depressants kill hardons…

But to get your question…..I am still physical with my wife…I eat a lot of pussy, and she sucks a lot of limp cock…and if we have the time for a Viagra, I take one and if it works, we have intercourse, and if not I am red and we still do lots or oral…

Is it what I want? No. Is it what she wants? No. But it is what we have….her body goes through changes as she gets older, they call it menopause and carry on about it, but no one doubts her sexualty because she stops having periods. Our body goes through changes and we don’t get hard as often or if at all, and everyone starts to think we are loosers. We ARE NOT. We are the same men, but are bodies just don’t function as well–we need glasses, hearing aids, pumps, shots and pills to have sex….

My point is, I have sex with my wife, intercourse sometimes (twice since Christmas) and usually just oral sex, it is still exciting to get her off, still hot when she gets me off….just relax, try to have a good time, and reach out to the world with your heart and your mind…not your dick…your dick is not who you are and does not define you….and when you are in a relationship, it wont matter if you are hard, or use a dildo on her, it will matter that you love each other and are intimate with out without intercourse….

Hope, I wish I had it, it left me about 6 months ago

Hope was what kept me going fo many years. Antidreppressiv pills work fairly well but it can´t keep away all pain. No I can´t say I´m completey devoid of hope, there is always a little thougt way down in my soul that one day something is going to happen. One has to have hope to survive but sometimes I see my impotens as being as irreversable as becoming paralysed after an severe accident. I guess the good thing with hope is that its not rational. Whats yor life like?

Thank you so much for your reply

Its great to be able to ventilate this subject with someone. I´m 52 and my troubles started when I became 40. My erektions became weeker and weeker as the years went by. Even if I could get it upp to 70% with some help, I ejakulated almost emediatly. For me this seems to hang together, that is bad erektion = premature ejakulation. I long thougt my problems were psykological, I went to shrinks and I ransaked my whole mind for many years looking into every nook and cranny. I wasn´t nervous or had a pressure on me, my wife was to a certain extent quiet understanding.
For her it wasn´t a big issue. But ejakulating so fast was for me pretty disheartening. I really enjoy looking at women but nothing arouses me fysicaly. This became a problem in my marriage, I wanted to make love but the feeling or the nerv wasn´t there. And in presence of my wifes strong desire and lust mine diminished even more. I coundn´t meet hers. I divorced her about 3 years ago. The main reason was not my impotens even if it had a large part in it.
Sex is a lubricant in a relationship. This kept us together in the begining. But with that gone there wasn´t much left. I´ve been singel now for three years. I tried with a woman about two years ago.
Allready att an early stage I told her about my problems and it didn´t bother her. We had sex but without me penetrating. It was nice to feel the warmth, smell and embraces of a female again. But after a few months without getting an erektion and spending most of the time satisfying her I left her. This was probably stupid but I was so discouraged with my self. I wanted to be alone and lick my wounds. I was angry and frustrated. I´ve seeked expert medical advice. Done hormone tests, tried Viagra and cialis with little effect. By mere chance a doktor discovered something was wrong with my blood. I suffered from b12 vitamin deficiancy and he said that i some cases this can cause impotens. B 12 apperently vital for the nervus system.
Along with that he gave me the option to take caverjet which I geuss you are familiar with, an injektion in the penis. I know that is a good option. For someone allready in a relationship. But I have troubles seeing myself meeting a new woman, and in the middle of embracing saying “excuse me I have to go to the bathroom”. You see for me and I guess most of us desire and lust is not just about fysical sex its part of ones whole will to live, to create to meet people. As a male its part of the meaning of life. What I think Freud means by Libido.
I´ll probably not take my life but some days its so dark and hopeless. Appart from feeding my children I sometimes see little reason for getting out of my couch. Its good to know that you are out there.

I keep hoping with all my mite

that there will be a new break through in methods to overcome this. I understand how you feel but we have to keep “hope” up, fight within ourselves with everything we have. There WILL be a better day.

I’m very touched by your letter, you openly share the pain

that many of us have or have had. Erections are very important to us as men. Our identity, our self esteem, are both very much impacted by this function, and although I suspect it varies how important from man to man, it is nonetheless, an issue for all. I too have struggled with depression and self esteem issues. All the times someone makes a joke or comment relating in some way to sex, and the ability to perform, a joke that implies an erection is a given. If only they knew how often they stick the knife in deep. I suffer in silence often, but it is getting better.
I don’t know what is the source of your impotents, but if this is new to you, and you’re new here, you’ll learn that there are options out there, and although they may not be as spontaneous and natural as we’d like, you’ll learn that your sex life is not over, you can still exercise options to be sure you are able to perform and please a woman, and enjoy her sexually.
I am 62, had a prostatectomy almost 2 years ago, and still not much happening. Orgasms have improved, but getting hard requires either the use of finasteride 5mg tablets, a vacuum device w/ cock rings, or injections of Trimix.
Sometimes I find with a cock ring on, lots of lube, and lots of visual input I get enough filling to masturbate, and might have enough for penetration, not sure, I”m too afraid to try with my wife, feel it will fail, and I guess I don’t wanna face that. With her, I just inject and use a ring, to be sure I am hard enough to fuck.
I have been researching penile implants, and follow the support group on here for that, that will be in my future perhaps. Many men, most, ho have one talk about the greatly improved sex life, and the improved self esteem, knowing they can perform again.  I’m not sure what else to tell you, I feel badly for u, I know how it feels. Suicide is a poor option, Nolan, that is not fair to your family, your kids, your future grandkids, they all need and want you. And you will get sex function back, there are great options available to you and I, that weren’t available to our fathers and grandfathers.

How do you survive?

How do you guys cope with your impotens? I find it very dificult to live with. I use antidepresivs but the pain of never having a woman again often breaks throu. I manage life at work I´m even qiute happy there, but as soon as I leave my jobb life is empty. I avoid meeting people in private, my only consolation is to sleep. Being impotent is for me not really being a part of life or of nature. I feel as though I´m just a spektator. Lacking lust and libido is lacking one of the main forces of nature. I am a human but I´m no longer a man. This ofcourse gives me low self esteem which is the main reason I shun people. Most fysical deficiancies can be discussed, impotens is shamefull. I cant help it but I feel like a lesser human. This deficiancy affects my whole life and with some exeptions is constantly on my mind. The only thing that really keeps me going is that I have three children but in five years they will all have left home. Then there is not much left. For me the mening of life is to have a woman, to have a relationship, to have someone to share life with. This is no longer an option. Yes I have suicidal thoughts. I feel imprisoned, constantly aware of my predicament. There is no door, there is no escape. I can´t accept it, I can`t abide this reality. It´s impossible to come to terms with. How do you cope with it?

Previous posting a joke?

There is NO “total masturbation life” of a penis…. all the three top urologists i’ve been to in NYC said that erections are good for the penis, no matter how you attain them…either self stimulation or with a partner. All this bullsh*t about hurting the kidneys, etc. is just that, bullsh*t.

The healthy penis has about 2-3 hours worth of nocturnal erections every night (unless you have E.D.)…..these are necessary to maintain the health of the smooth muscles in the penis….the smooth muscles in the penis need oxygen rich blood to get to the penis…. that’s why day time erections are good…

Any talk about masterbation physically hurting the penis or the body is wrong. I know there are young guys who write into this yahoo website thinking they are breaking their penis b/c of masterbation too much… they should be assured that it’s okay to masterbate, it won’t physically harm them. Anyone else posting a comment on this blog saying something to the contrary is doing them a disservice.

ok, that’s my two cents.

I’m not a doctor, a urologist, etc

But someone who started masturbating when I couldn’t even shoot a load, but the wonderful feeling still occurred. I remember the first time I was given a blow job and I still wasn’t even shooting a load I thought that something was going to come out but nothing did! Of course the guy who was blowing me knew full well what he was doing–pedophile that he was. I continue to jack off since a kid my age in the fifties knew nothing about sex except that it felt good. I continued to jack off for years even though I was also having sex quite regularly.

To my knowledge there is no such thing as “masturbation life”. As long as you have some libido, perhaps use some assistance such as porn videos and are able to used some imagination in the way you pleasure yourself there is no reason you can’t continue “wanking” away for years.

You don’t relate whether you are gay or straight or whether you have a sexual partner. But as you are in your early 20′s you shouldn’t be experiencing impotence. You shouldn’t be reluctant to see a doctor, hopefully one that doesn’t come off as judgemental, e.g., the “old family physician” type who might look with disapproval at anything related to sex outside of marriage. There is help out there but you have to seek it.

Hi Jack, Thank you

My response initially is, that if Dr. C is experienced, and you trust him, he already knows part of what you presented first time, so goes in with sort of advance info. Only you can decide how you feel about him.
I’ll certainly be posting here in a couple weeks after mine is done, so be glad to let you know how I feel about my doc.

Long story will try to keep it breef

About 5 years ago the Uro that I was going to for low testerstrone and ED showed me and the wife a video on imlplants. He had started me on Viagara when it came out in 98 and all the ones that came our after.
After the video my wife and I talked. At the time I was still able to get an erection good enough for sex (just barley), so we agreed to wait.
Erections keept getting weaker and weaker and Dr. did a color doppler and said I had Venous Leakage. He sold me tri-mix out of the office by the shot at $40-$60 per shot CASH ONLY. Even though I had know this doctor from my sunday school days the thought of having to pay for meds with CASH out of the office did not set well with me.
Went to Dr.C whom is my Uro now. After an exam I asked for a prescription for trimix which he wrote and gave me the name of the only licensed compounding pharmacy in town. Little to no effect. I went back to Dr.C and he called the pharmacy and ordered the strongest thing they mixed. I was told I could use up to a full 100 unit syringe. I did. Little to no effect. We talked and sechduled an implant for 10/06. 10/06 just b/4 implant surgery I had chest pains and had to have stents put in my heart. Heart Dr. said wait a year b/4 implant.
Went back to Dr. C and asked what could I do for the next year. He gave me a prescription for a VED and had the rep come in and fit it for me. I used it some but hurt myself by using too much pressure and had to lay off a couple of months. After that I only used it sparingly.
10/07 Implant surgery scheduled. Went to the hospital and when I woke up I felt like someone had shoved a tree trunk with the bark still on it up my penis. I instantly knew something was wrong. My wife came in and then the Dr. and said that they had penetrated the Ureatha and had to stop because of the possibility of infection.
During my follow up with Dr. C. I decided to get a second opinion. I went to the Head of the Urology Department of the University of Tennessee Memphis. Dr. W is a young doctor and for some reason we did not hit it off. He wanted me to wait until after my back surgery and come back with my wife in 7/08.
I went back to Dr. C and talked to him. He said that the next time he has a special instrument that he can use and not have the problem again. BUT I have to wait 6 months after my back surgery.
Eight weeks ago today I had my back surgery. Nuerosurgeon is thrilled with the results and so am I. No more pain in my legs and lower back.
The other benefit from the back surgery is that now from time to time I have an spontanious erection. (Not good enough for sex.) I asked my back doctor and he said that the pressure on the nerves may have been part of my problem. Will take 6 months to know for sure. His opinion is that I will still need the implant.
Now! The cause of the failed surgery was from fibrosis in the copora’s from Peronies and injection therapy. Dr. said mostly injection thearpy, even though I only tried it for a short while. I found a VED routine for the fibrosis and use it almost every day. It has helped and I have even gained back some lost length from Peronies.
Quandry? Do I let Dr. C retry the implant of try to find someone else. Will have to make up my mind in the next couple of months. May even see another doctor.
There are a couple of good groups for help. yahoo implant group and Bob Bacon has a Blog. All with very good informtion.
If you want full details on how to use the VED for fibrosis sent me a